


A trash rat's ring

by Freepoetynightmare



Series: Puzzle pieces AU [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Little Shit, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders is a Sweetheart, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:55:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freepoetynightmare/pseuds/Freepoetynightmare
Summary: A sequel to Unmatched Puzzle pieces diving into the backstory between Janus and Remus.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: Puzzle pieces AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1836193
Kudos: 45





	1. you're WHAT?!?

Roman was on the phone with his brother. “I’m just saying you’re strong enough to hold on to the rope and if you don’t fall off the skateboard-”

“No Remus.” 

“Blah. You really aren’t any fun anymore.” 

“Why don’t you ask Janus?” Roman asked.

There was silence. 

“Remus?”

“I don’t know about that. He might not take it well.” Remus said seriously. Immediately Roman got concerned. 

“He’s your boyfriend he-”

“Ex-boyfriend.” 

Roman froze. Ex-boyfriend? “EX-BOYFRIEND?” 

“Yeah,” Remus said in a dull tone, “He proposed. It’s fiancee now.” 

“Remus that’s terrible I-DID YOU JUST SAY FIANCEE?” He yelled into the phone.

Remus laughed. “I didn’t think you would fall for that!” 

“Ok. So you aren’t getting married.” Roman said relieved.

“Oh yeah totally! It’s in… less than a month.” Remus said.

“LESS THAN A MONTH!?” Roman yelled again.

Logan knocked on his door, “Are you alright in there?” He asked.

“NO!” he yelled to his boyfriend before getting back on the phone. “Tell me everything!” 

“He had a ring, I found it. He proposed. Now we’re getting married. Kinda sucks that I didn’t get to it first.” Remus said casually.

Roman groaned, “You have to give me more than that!” 

“Fine fine. It all started on a tuesday.”

\---  
Seven years before

Remus sat on the hood of a beat up truck, waiting for the new kid to get there.

“Can I ask why you’re on my truck?” He blinked and turned 

“Hi! I’m Remus!” He held out his hand, The other teen didn’t shake it. He raised a pierced eyebrow and waited. 

“Come on! This is when you say your name!” He said.

“...Janus.” The boy said. 

“Well, I was waiting to meet you Janus!” Remus said.

“Great. Now you have. You can leave now.” Janus replied. 

“Mmm nah! I think I’d be fun if you drove around with me on the hood!” Remus said laying down sideways on it. 

“And if you fell off?” Janus asked.

“Well that’s half the fun!” Remus said. 

Janus laughed. It was quiet and broken and amazing. Remus would do anything to hear it again. 

\---

“I remember that!” Roman said, irritated. “You talked about it for weeks!”

“Well excuse me for wanting to give you the full story!” Remus said.

“I was asking about the engagement!” Roman said.

“And I was getting there!” 

“By going through seven years?” Roman asked.

“You can’t just skip to the end!” Remus argued.

“Can you at least give me the abridged version?” Roman asked.

“Fine But I’m doing it in person!” 

“Fine. I’ll be over in a bit.” 

“Bring your boyfriends.” Remus said.

“Why?” 

He could almost hear Remus shrug through the phone. “Just because.”

“Fine. See you in a little bit.”

He hung up.

\---

“Everyone settled?” Remus asked as he sat on the back of a chair. 

“Remus is this really ness-” 

“Great! Let’s start from the beginning!”

\---

Remus was in the hospital with a broken leg. Janus stormed in. “I told you!” He yelled.

Remus would have jumped if he didn’t have a broken leg. “Janus!” 

“I told you to wait! But Nooooo! You just had to try it by yourself!” Janus said. “You can’t just go jumping off cliffs when I’m not there!”

“You were busy.” Remus said, shocked at how angry Janus was.

“You could have died!” Janus yelled. He sat down heavily in the chair next to the bed. 

Remus stared at him as Janus spoke again in a quiet voice,not looking at Remus. “You could have died and then I would have been alone again.” 

“I’m not going to leave you alone Jan-Jan. Promise.” Reus said. He was scared at just how vulnerable Janus seemed. He never looked this upset before.

“Good.” Janus snapped. He took a deep breath. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have come in here yelling.”

“It’s fine. I expect it at this point.” Remus said, shrugging.

“Not that you don’t earn it.” Janus muttered. Remus laughed.

“I’ll make it up to you!” Remus promised.

“How are you going to do that?” Janus asked, curious.

There was a brief pause.

“I know let’s go on a date!”

Janus looked up at him. “Remus your leg is broken.” 

“So...No?” Remus asked.

Janus rolled his eyes, “It means let’s wait for you to be able to walk again.” 

“So...yes?” Remus asked nervously. Why was he nervous? He never felt like this.

“Yes.” Janus agreed.


	2. story time

“And then we went to see a horror film and ended up kissing throughout most of it!” Remus regaled.

“Awww!” Patton said.

“Gross.” Virgil said for Roman’s benefit.

“That is not an acceptable place to-” Logan started only to get cut off by Janus walking into the room.

He looked around. “Why is everyone looking at me like that? Remus?”

“Just talking.” Remus said, shrugging. 

Janus narrowed his eyes, “Then you won’t mind me staying?”

“Nope!” Remus said.

Janus sat down his eyes on his fiancee. “Well? Continue.”

\----

Remus was petting Janus’s hair. He had dyed it green on a dare and was now always wore a stupid bowler hat to cover it up. At least when he wasn’t with Remus.

“Aawww! But you look so good with green!” Remus moaned trying to get his boyfriend to get rid of the hat.

“I’m keeping it until the two weeks are up and I can re-dye it my natural brown again.” Janus said firmly, his eyes were closed enjoying the sunlight.

Remus stuck his tongue out. 

“Remus, tongue back in your mouth.” Janus said without opening his eyes.

With anyone else that would have been a challenge. With Janus… He pulled his tongue back into his mouth.

Still with his eyes closed, “Thank you.”

\---

“And that’s when I fell in love.” Remus said.

Janus stared at him. Before shaking his head fondly. 

“That..was surprisingly normal.” Roman commented.

Janus looked at the twin, “He left out the next bit on purpose. He freaked out and pushed me down the hill.” 

“What?”

“I was fine. He rolled down after me.” Janus said. 

“We spent the whole afternoon rolling down that hill.” Remus added before jumping off into another story.

\---

The movie should have caught his attention, instead he watched Janus’s face. HIs boyfriend was completely engrossed in the horror film. He didn’t even flinch at the jump scares. 

“I love you.” Remus said under his breath.

“I love you too.” Janus said without looking away from the screen.

Remus smiled, “More popcorn?”

\---

“Wait wait wait….That was it?” Roman said, “Your first I love you’s and you just...went back to the movie?”

“Of course not! After the movie was over we fuc-” Remus was cut off.

“Nope! I don’t need to hear it!” Roman said covering his ears.

“Ah lighten up Ro.” Virgil said teasingly.

“You were the one who asked.” Remus huffed.

Janus laughed. 

“Alright you’ve told us a bunch of cutest stuff but what about the rough stuff?” Virgil asked.

“I was going too!” Remus said.

“Not sex! I meant like fights or something. You two can’t get along all the time!” Virgil said.

Janus and Remus looked at each other. 

“I mean there was that one time.” Janusa said slowly, “Where you broke up with me.”

“Oh...right.” 

The look on Remus’s face almost made Virgil retract his question. 

Remus smiled again, “This one is rough enough.” He said staring directly at Virgil.


	3. fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The break up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some self hatred.

Remus was trying to be normal. He really really wanted to be normal. To not think about jumping in front of a car, or sticking his hand in a blender. 

“He can be weird.” Janus’s voice echoed in his head.

He looked in the mirror, his hair was sticking up in odd spikes. ‘Break the glass! Cut your eyes out!’ His brain yelled. He shook his head.

He brushed his hair down. Try for normal. 

He knocked on the door. His boyfriend opened it. “Hey Jan-” Are nicknames normal?” -us.” 

“Hello Re-mus.” Janus said mincing the pause Remus had put into his name, “Are you going to come inside?”

Remus walked in without a word. Janus frowned and closed the door. Remus walked into the living room and paused. Normally he sat on the back of the couch but that wasn’t normal so…

Janus blinked as he walked in to find his boyfriend just sitting on the couch. Not on the back of it, or on the coffee table or even climbing the bookshelves. Just...sitting there.

“Are you feeling alright?” Janus asked.

“Yep.” Remus lied. Janus picked up on that but said nothing. 

“I was just about to eat, what do you want?” Janus asked, pulling out his phone.

Light bulbs! Razor blades! The souls of the innocent. “A bagel.” Remus said.

Janus looked at him. Was that not normal enough? “Two bagels?” He offered.

“O...k?” Janus said slowly.

Remus’s heart dropped. He wasn’t acting normal enough! Dejected he slumped back against the couch. 

How did normal people act? He never really paid attention. How did his brother act? Ok that was a bad question. His brother was too normal and borderline boring….Were normal people just boring? He didn’t know if he could be boring!

“Earth to Remus.” Janus said, snapping his fingers in front of his face. Remus blinked. 

“Wha?”

“You sure you’re ok?” Janus asked.

“Fine.” Remus lied again. 

“Remus.” Janus crossed his arms. 

“It’s fine! I’m fine!” Remus insisted jumping up. 

“Remus!” Janus snapped reaching out to his boyfriend. “You’re acting weird.”

Remus’s heat sunk even more.

“Whatever.” Remus said shrugging his hand off and leaving. 

He decided to walk home as it wasn’t far. Give him time to clear his head. 

Stupid stupid stupid! Why was this so hard? What did he do wrong? He sat normal! He asked for normal food! He spoke normally! He wasn’t weird at all!!!

So why did Janus still think he was being weird? 

He’s laughing at you. His brain said. He doesn’t actually like you! He just wants to keep you around to laugh at.

“Shut up.” He growled. Quickening his pace.

“Don’t be an idiot!” “Really? Do you really think that’s a good idea?” “Remus don’t.” “I don’t have time for this!”

Remus started running. But he couldn’t outrun the memories of Janus in his head.

He got to his apartment out of breath. He walked in and dropped to the floor. Too weird!

Why couldn’t he be normal? Why did he have to be such a freak!

Janus deserved better. 

Remus picked up his phone. 

Call him! 

Remus didn’t.

He sent a text instead.

Coward...

He really will be better off without you...

“I think we should break up.” he texted before tears blurred his vision and he threw the phone against the wall. 

Janus was shocked to get the text. He blinked. Is that why he had been acting so… off? He tried to call him but didn’t get a response. 

Janus huffed, so he dumps him through a text and then won’t respond? Fine! If that’s how he wants to play it! 

Janus deleted his contact. He felt horrible right after. 

Janus was baffled.

What had he done wrong?


	4. The time Remus tried to die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus isn't doing great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING -Suicidal thoughts and attempt.

Remus had been avoiding Janus. He broke his phone from throwing it and he was too much of a coward to go see him in person. He didn’t want to have to explain why he wanted to break up. He didn’t want Janus to laugh at him and tell him that he was right. He was too weird.

He would just wait for Janus to move on without him. That would be best...right?

He broke down after a week and was halfway to Janus’s house and he backed out. The next time the house was in view before he turned around. 

Stupid! Do you really think he’d want to see you? Remus shook his head. His parents thought he was weird and signed him up for anything and everything so he was never home. His brother thought he was weird and only talked to him when he needed something. 

Janus thought he was weird….and he was better off without him.  
They all are.

After two weeks he downed a bottle of sleeping pills.

Janus was going crazy. Remus hadn’t contacted him since that one text. He thought he had seen him outside once but he was gone when he looked again. 

Was he mad at him? Bored with him? Did Janus say no too much? Had he stifled Remus too much? If so, why didn’t he say something?

Two weeks had been his breaking point. He was going to march over there and demand answers!

“Remus open this door!” Janus yelled, knocking. 

He kept knocking, “REMUS!” 

The door opened and Janius was shocked at how wrecked Remus looked. He was swaying on his feet and looked like he hadn’t slept since he had been over two weeks ago.

“Remus what is going on with you?” Janus demanded pushing him away into the apartment.

Remus blinked at him slowly. “Jan-jan! You’re here! I missed you!” He started to move forward to give him a hug. 

“Wait..no. You can’t be here!” Remus said, jerking himself backwards and falling down.

Janus stared at him. “What did you take?”

“What are you talking about?” Remus asked, staring to the right of Janus.

“Alright I’m taking you to the hospital.” Janus said, reaching to help Remus up.

“No.” Remus said, swatting his hands away. “I deserve this!” 

“Deserve what?” 

“Why would you care? I’m weird.” Remus said, his eyes dropping. 

“Because I like that you’re weird!” Janus said, “Do you have any idea how boring people are?”

“Wait..” Remus said, struggling to keep his eyes open. “You like that I’m weird?”

“Of course I do! I love all of you!” Janus said.

“Oh.” Remus said before passing out.

He woke up in the hospital. The steady beeping of a heart monitor keeping track of his heart beat. He opened his eyes to a dark room. In the chair next to him sat Janus who was asleep.

He didn’t want to wake him up. He just watched him sleep.

He laughed under his breath. He really was an idiot.

“Mmm.” Janus opened his eyes. He looked over at Remus. 

“Hey.” 

Janus huffed, “You broke your promise.”

Remus blinked, “What...promise?”

Janus stood up, stood over him. “You promised me that you weren’t going to try some crazy stunt and leave me alone!”

“Oh...Sorry.” Remus said.

“Sorry?” Janus replied dryly, crossing his arms. 

Oh he was pissed.

“I shouldn’t have done that… so..sorry.” Janus stared at him. 

Janus narrowed his eyes, then leaned down and gave him a kiss that stole his breath. “Do that again and I'll bring you back just to kill you myself.” He threatened.

“Yes sir.” 

Janus smiled, “Good.”

\---

“Wait you tried to kill yourself?” Roman demanded standing up.

Remus shrugged, “I was young.”

Janus smacked his arm lightly. Remus rolled his eyes. “Fine. Yes I tried to kill myself. No I won’t do it again...on purpose.” He added the last part quietly.

“Ever.” Janus said firmly.

“Aaaaw! And I thought you didn’t like boring people!” Remus groaned.

“Remus.” Janus warned.

“Fine fine.” Remus said. “I won’t do it again. I will strive for immortality!”

“Improble.” Logan said from his spot on the couch where Patton had started leaning against him.

“Don’t you mean Impossible?” Virgil asked, raising an eyebrow.

Logan shifted, “If anyone could…” He trailed off.

Remus looked at Logan in shock then his face split into a grin. “Thanks nerd!”

“Remus!” Roman warned.

Remus laughed. 

“That was awful.” Patton said after a minute of silence. 

“Oh please that wasn’t even our worst fight!” Remus said.

“What do you mean…” Janus started confused. Then, “Oh.”

“What do you mean oh?” Logan asked.

“I don’t think that was really worse.” Janus said shifting uncomfortably. “At least in the fight terms.”

“Well I did die that time so…”

“You DIED?” Roman yelled.

“Relax! I’m alive now! See?” Remus said, waving his hands. 

Roman dropped back into his chair. Virgil reached over and rubbed his shoulder. 

“Are you really going to tell that story Remus?” Janus asked.

“Mmm..Maybe not. I don’t know if Ro bro could take it.” Remus said before dramatically grabbing at his heart.

Roman glared at him, “Well excuse me for being concerned about my favorite brother!” 

“I’m your only brother!” Remus shot back.

“The sentiment stands!” Roman said, “...For now.” he muttered as an afterthought.

“So the time that I died…”


	5. that time he died part one.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (So Remus dies. RIP)

Remus had a habit of getting himself injured. He always had at least a dozen bruises from something or the other. Janus more than once threatened to put him on a leash to prevent him from climbing things in public.

To which Remus replied, “Kinky!” 

To which Janus rolled his eyes and fought to keep the smile off his face. He always failed but he still tried.

They went to the lake in late fall. No one there except them. Janus didn’t swim, and Remus didn’t mind the chill. It was perfect.

“Remus get out of the water.” Janus yelled from the beach just as Remus dove down again.

Remus’s head poked out of the water and he cackled before diving down again.

Janus rolled his eyes and went back to his book. He got through two pages before he realized he didn’t hear any splashing. He looked up and frowned at the still lake.

Had Remus gotten out?

Worry stabbed at his gut and he set his book down, “Remus?” He called out.

There was no answer. He began to panic. “REMUS!” He yelled as he saw something bob to the surface of the water.

Remus. 

Janus was in the water in a second. He ignored the cold and was over to where Remus floated. He wasn’t breathing.

Janus got him to the shore and put his ear to Remus’s chest. No heartbeat. His own heart dropping. 

Janus started performing cpr. His mind focused solely on getting Remus’s heart started again. To get him breathing. On keeping him alive.

Remus coughed up water. His eyes opening and darting around wildly until they landed on Janus’s face. 

Remus smiled, “Hey.”

“God Remus You’re heart stopped!” Janus yelled before slapping a hand over his mouth to prevent himself from sobbing. He had to be strong. Remus still needed to get to a hospital.

“Oh.” Remus said quietly. He paused. “Guess you got to kill me now since you brought me back.” He joked.

Janus looked at him in shock before smacking Remus’s arm, “That’s not funny!” 

“Ow! Ok! I was just trying to lighten the mood!” 

“Come on. We need to get you to the hospital.” Janus said.

“Nah. I’m alright.” Remus said sitting up and rubbing his chest over his heart.

“Remus you died! We are going to the hospital!” Janus yelled.

“I’ll be fine! I’ve almost drowned plenty of times!” Remus agured.

“This time you did!” Janus snarled at him. “Now we are going to the hospital and that is final!” 

Remus blinked in shock at the rage on Janus’s face. Remus weakly nodded and let Janus help him into the truck and drive him to the hospital. Janus was shiving by the time they got there. When Remus tried to suggest that Janus take the towels that were wrapped around Remus’s shoulders he growled at him.

They got to the emergency room and got Remus check in. He insisted that he was fine the whole time as Janus spoke over him to the doctors.

“I’m fine!” Remus snapped from his hospital bed.

“Then why do the doctors think you should be kept overnight for observation?” Janus said, still not calming down.

“Because you almost bit their heads off when they suggested sending me home!” Remus snapped back.

“Remus this is serious!” Janus replied.

“Yes it is! And you aren’t listening to me!” Remus said.

“Because you have a death wish and I don’t want to lose you!” Janus said.

Remus paused, “Maybe you should leave.” 

Janus looked at Remus and deflated. “Remus-”

“Go.” 

Janus swallowed and nodded. He left the room. 

Remus lay in bed and finally let himself break down. He had died! The amount of times he went alone to the lake. If Janus hadn’t agreed to go with him today…

How long would it have taken someone to find him? He would have really left Janus alone. 

How many times had Janus saved his life so far? How many times had he held him back from doing something deadly? 

Remus didn’t know. He just knew he sent away the only person that cared enough to stop him from dying.


End file.
